


A Pipe Dream Come True

by orphan_account



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Hip Hop, Hospitalization, Large Cock, Object Penetration, Other, Sex, Trucks, True Love, penis melting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John Cena fucks his exhaust pipe.
Relationships: John Cena/Exhaust Pipe, John Cena/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	A Pipe Dream Come True

John Cena stared into the abyss within the single eye--was it an eye?--of that exhaust pipe. Ugh, that sexy fucking exhaust pipe. What was he to do without it around to pleasure him? After all, it was a perfect fit for his enormous girth, and it definitely felt better than regular sex. This time, however, John wanted to try something new, something hot, something dangerous, something which he really should not have even thought of in the first place.  
"Exhaust pipe?" he asked tenderly, with his firm, muscular, and sweaty hands clasped around it. They quickly became coated in a layer of sooty black, which he observed upon lifting a palm.  
"Yes?" the pipe seemed to reply. To Cena, it almost had a personality, in spite of merely being the thing that he stuck his dick in from time to time. That would be the impression of an outsider, at least. To John, it was as vividly real as another person.  
"You're still my bitch, right?" he wondered with a sexily condescending tone.  
"Y-yes, daddy Cena," it confirmed. "I'm still your slutty little exhaust pipe after all these years."  
"Well," he told the pipe, "I want to try something new."  
"What is it?" the pipe might've wondered, had it the capability for rational thought, an attribute which John possessed, yet evidently seldom used except when fantasizing about exhaust pipes.  
"You'll see." John left the pipe hanging, walked up to the front of his truck, opened the door, and hopped inside, looking at the shiny "U CAN'T SEE ME" medallion hanging from the rear-view.  
Then, he did something he had never done before: he inserted the car keys and turned them, and was satisfied to hear the engine rev up with such great power. He had a ridiculous boner already.  
"You'll see."  
John walked back to the tailgate of the car and bent down to service his beloved. First, he threw off his shirt to reveal a beautifully-chiseled six pack, already oiled up for the occasion. He thought he could hear the pipe sigh, but it was likely a missed indicator of severe engine damage instead of a sentiment of arousal.  
Then, he ripped off his pants to reveal a foot-long, veiny, rock-hard, throbbing pro-wrestler schlong.  
"I love you," he whispered to the pipe. A tear began to roll down his cheek. "Don't ever forget that."  
Suddenly, he thrust his immense dick into the exhaust pipe without warning. His penis had never felt such a powerful sensation of pleasure before. There was just something about the toxic combination of carbon monoxide, benzene, nitrogen oxides, and ground-level ozone that aroused him like nothing else out there. He let out a moan as his member began to suffer from first-degree burns, then second, then third, still thrusting as hard as he could as semen rushed out of his prostate and into the insides of his car.  
However, John's euphoric sensations quickly turned to pain as he pulled out and discovered that he no longer had a penis. He immediately clothed himself and drove to the emergency room at once. When the doctors asked him how he had damaged his phallus so catastrophically following a life-saving reparative surgery, he tried to come up with something, but the truth was the only possible explanation. He began to tell them:  
"My time is up, your time is now / You can see me, your time is now / It's the emergency room, boy, I fucked my exhaust pipe / ... / Fuck."  
One can only imagine how the doctors reacted.

**Author's Note:**

> happy nightmares you fucking loser ^_^


End file.
